Warning – NSFW (or children)

The brand new ‘crazy golf for adults’ venue in George Street, Hockley is 100% LadBible fodder, a prime stag event venue and perfect for student Instagram accounts. Glory Holes is very try hard and badly done. The staff are all out there to ‘shock’, including the security staff playing down their Covid rules and the manager wearing his mask around his chin whilst saying ‘grab a ball from my sack’. I’m eye-rolling even writing this.

It feels like they’ve been to a props shop and a sex shop blindfolded (not advisable), grabbed a load of crap and stuck it together in a random but *hole themed* order. They must have had a two for one offer on fake gold chains as they were laid over donkeys and stormtroopers all over the shop. It’s super tacky, felt very grubby and is actually pretty awful crazy golf. But, I’m guessing it’s not actually meant to be good for crazy golf, it’s a place to go and pose with dildos on the wall on your Instagram story and never visit again. If you’re into that kind of thing.

It was also excruciatingly loud and impossible to get drinks once you’ve started going around. I guess it was ‘fun’ to do something different with friends and to laugh about quite how terrible it was but we wouldn’t revisit. We were paying customers and the whole experience cost £40 plus drinks – of which they didn’t have any of the choices that I ordered and definitely didn’t feel worth it. The golfing holes were set out really badly towards the beginning and the end as people were walking all over other people’s parties and getting in each other’s way as around 3 holes overlap.

If you actually want to play crazy golf in Nottingham city centre, head to the Cornerhouse and Lost City Adventure Golf which is actually well planned out, fun and suitable for all ages.