We live in a society where people are always telling you to grab life by the balls, carpe diem, push yourself out of your comfort zone and live a little! Basically, the pressure to say yes to things is huge because if you’re a ‘no person’ you can be seem as boring, negative and essentially not a good enough person.
This sucks because pressure builds up and you end up doing things that you don’t actually want to. Again, this sucks. This post is all about how I’m (trying) to find the courage to say no to things that won’t eventually lead me to where I want to be or, simply, because I just don’t want to. Here are three situations where saying no can be a good thing!
1. In blogging
This small section of the post is probably most relatable to other small bloggers such as myself. We need to feel brave enough, confident enough in ourselves and our content to say no to collaborations that might not be quite right. Previously, I’ll admit that I’ve said yes to a lot of things and pushed out post after post that weren’t even remotely similar to the bloggers that I idolise and their blogs that I love reading. I was doing it for the cash.
I’m not on a 500k subscriber YouTuber salary nor am I on a ridiculously good wage at work like some of my friends are at other companies. But, I love my job and I also want to save, shop, go on holiday, eat out, socialise, travel and do everything else that we’re meant to do at this age. That needs money and sometimes I’ll admit I accepted £100 for a post that I shouldn’t have. But, that £100 probably paid for my little sister’s birthday presents, petrol home to see them and taking my boyfriend out for breakfast. The struggle is real but I know that I need to start saying no to stuff that doesn’t lead into the type of content that I want to produce.
The pressure to go out, get that Instagram shot of the drinks lined up at the bar and spend all your hard earned dollar is huge for most people. Have you ever been out for a dinner or on a night out when you didn’t actually want to go or even, couldn’t afford it? Yep. Regretted it? Yep. Just say no. Or, invite your friends round to yours if you don’t fancy shouting over overly loud music and drinking overpriced wine.
My workplace has a massive ‘going out’ culture and I’m just not into it. I find it super awkward when there’s 50 people standing around that you know but noone really knows what to say in those situations. I prefer drinks with my team and sitting down with some nachos over shots with my CEO. I say no to a lot of work nights out because I just don’t find them fun but I do love going out with my team and having a gossip. Saying no doesn’t make you boring, it just means that you know what you like!
3. When you just don’t want to
Whatever the situation is, you have the right to say no to things that you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing. Recently, after two terror attacks in two weeks in two major UK cities I was due to go to London for a work meeting. I refused. It probably made me look bad, I probably let some people down and someone might have had to have sent an awkward email to a huge brand but I wasn’t going. It was awkward for me to admit that I was scared and I didn’t want to go but if I don’t have to put myself at risk, I won’t. I still did my preparation for the meeting an insisted they dial me in because I’m still capable of doing my job from another city. It’s 2017, phone lines and internet are pretty useful.
Basically, the moral of the story is, just don’t if you don’t want to and don’t worry about what people think if you’re happy with your decision.